The other day, while listening to my all-time favorite, best ever, completely inappropriate Dudley and Bob morning show on 93.7 KLBJ fm, the topic of language and region came up. An article was read – the point being that all our local dialects here in the US are disappearing. Slowly but surely, we’re all evolving our accents into a standardized, mostly mid-western pronunciation. I think it’s true, and I think it’s a bummer. It does, however, make sense. Although I was born and raised in Texas (a state with very distinct and different Eastern and Western Texas drawls), having lived in Austin my entire life, I managed to avoid most of the linguistic charms the south has to offer. Sure, I use “y’all” in every other sentence, and I pronounce “lawyer” the way it is spelled, but for the most part, I just sound like your average Joan. Most of the people I know with strong southern drawls are from smaller Texas towns. Or Alabama. Seriously, you ‘Bama girls are LOUD and FUNNY and SOUTHERN. The whole conversation got me thinking ’bout thangs: Mainly, that I want to move to Ireland or another English-speaking country and be the one with the accent. It would also be adorable for Liam to pick up a little Irish brogue. And appropriate, considering his name.  I don’t know how much you’d pick up or how long it would take … I once met a girl here in Austin who spoke with a British accent. Intrigued, I told her that I had a handful of friends in England and asked where she was from. She told me she was from Cape Cod.  Now, it turns out, I also have a group of friends from Massachusetts (which just so happens to include Cape Cod, dontcha’ know?). I’d spent massive amounts of time with both my English friends and my Northeastern friends. Why the Hell did this girl keep telling me she was from Cape Cod, in a very British accent, like it was nothing?? It turns out, this very American girl had married an Englishman, and magically “lost” all her American accent very quickly. Seriously. It was quite silly, and I’ve never seen her again.

Do you realize that the British think all Americans sound like Valley Girls and Surfer Dudes? The truth is, we totally do. We’re always completely enthusiastic and definitive: “Awesome! Totally! Nice! For sure! Absolutely!” Youtube is full of videos of them making fun of us.  Take a look at this – although I have no idea why he removes his “knickers” (don’t worry, you don’t see anything other than his skinny bare chest. Seriously, this guy is built like Liam), the rest is pretty accurate. Again, skip to about 45 second:

Oh, we do love our ahhhhviatour sunglasses.

Now, this blog was originally supposed to chronicle Liam, and I’m hoping I will get there. For now, here are more obscure pics to document the happs in our home:

Andre's belly after his body rejected his internal sutures, and he needed a second round of surgery. Gross.

Accepting his two week Cone Head status.

Liam being a very American hipster.

I remember coming home one weekend during my first semester of college, and realizing on a beautiful Saturday afternoon that my life was approximately 25% over. I had a legitimate, panic-filled quarter life crisis that fall afternoon, followed by tears and and depression attire (these were pre-Snuggie times, so it was likely more along the lines of a bathrobe). Some time after that, I compiled the following action items*:

*This is purely self-indulgent, so check out now if you aren’t in the mood to hear me wax on.

• Run a Marathon:Yes, totally cliche. I made a feeble attempt a few years ago when I signed up for a training program through Runtex. On day one, we started running the hike & bike trail for seven miles. I repeat, that was day one.  At one point, I veered off into the trees, waited for everyone in the group to pass, and walked in the opposite direction back to my car. We’ll file this one as “incomplete”.
• Perform on Stage (solo): Basically my biggest fear.  Acting, singing, speaking, any and all of the above. No can do. I withdrew from my required speech class in college three times before completing it, each and every time dropping the class the night before I was due to give my first speech. It’s fair to call it a phobia.
• Teach a Fitness Class: Whew! I was starting to feel like maybe I wasn’t making any progress. Completing Body Pump certification is probably one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done, partially because of the being-up-on-stage-in-front-of-people factor (refer to previous action item).
• Become Fluent in French: Or any language, but after eight years of french, I think it is the most attainable. During my sophomore year of college, N surprised me with plane tickets to Paris for Christmas (OH EMM GEEEE, I know, right?! I don’t remember what I gave him, but I’m gonna guess that it paled in comparison). At the time, I was minoring in French and knew enough to get us around without any problems  sans problèmes. N also recently got me some Rosetta Stone cd’s which are awesome, but it’s hard to find the time … again, work in progress. And super props to N for supporting my language skills.
• Be a (great) Mother: I’m trying. This warrants its own post, though.
• Graduate from College: Yes. Done and Done. There were pit stops in San Marcos, Mexican border towns,  Massachusetts (which I still can’t spell since it just got underlined in red), Montreal, England, Motherhood, and back to grand ol’ San Marvelous, but I finally got that dilpoma. It’s hanging on our “wall of achievements”. It’s a small wall. That includes Liam’s kindergarten graduation picture.
• Be 100% Healthy: This includes exercise, eating, and outside substances. Today is day eleven of no Cokes for me. Twenty Twelve just may be my year.
• Establish Proper Life Savings: I do have an account that is called “Life Savings”. That feels good. A twice-monthly amount goes into it. We had to pull from it recently. But it’s there and there’s something in it!
• Be Involved in the Community: I want to volunteer in some fashion, on a regular basis. There was a time when I would take L to Little Helping Hands, an organization that provides volunteer opportunities for childern. The idea is to foster a sense of community in the kids from the outset so they will be more involved later in their lives. Unfortunately, L hated going … this may reflect on my “being a (great) mother” goal. Regardless, I need to get involved and extend this to L, as well.
• Own a House and/or Land: We’re working on it, but the main question is where-oh-where do we want to live? Austin? The northwest coast? International? Hopefully, that’s in the cards within the next year or two.
• Travel to Europe: Yessiree Bob; remember those tickets N gave me for Christmas? I thought we were going to spend three weeks in different parts of France. Instead, on the night we were supposed to leave Paris, N surprised me, yet again, with different plans: Cinque Terre, Italy; Amsterdam, Netherlands; and Brugges, Belgium ==> it’s where Dr. Evil is from, you know.
• Travel to Galapagos Islands: It’s as close as we’ll ever get to visiting prehistoric times.
• Attend a World Cup Game: Okay, soccer is the only sport I pay any attention to, and it’s still a minimal amount. Every four years, however, I don’t miss a game. I basically pick my team early on, once I’ve gotten a vibe about which country has the best-looking players. Beacause I. Love. Soccer boys. For real. Last World Cup it was Argentina and Uruguay. I don’t know, maybe soccer players just look good in light blue? But I can’t think of any sporting event that would be more exciting then being inside a World Cup stadium. My sights are set on Brazil 2014.
• Do a Pull-Up: Checked this baby off, just yesterday! I did a single pull-up for the first time in my life. Upper body strength is not my forte.

And to finish this post with unrelated material, a few pictures to sum up our holidays:

L mining for gold in his Christmas pj's

With his new violin Christmas morning

Simply being cool.

Andre, post-surgery to remove the Nerf dart that was stuck in his intestine.

New Year's Eve 2011

About a year ago, my good friend and wonderful photographer, A, offered to take some boudoir-inspired photos for me. It’s something I’d wanted to do for a long time, and she was looking to expand her photography genres, so it seemed like a match. I headed over there one chilly Saturday morning with a bag full of wardrobe options, and I semi-awkwardly attempted to look hot … in the most classy of ways, of course. So here comes the part where I show you all of the photos, right? Not exactly. They are stored in a folder on my computer, for my eyes only. Or so I thought. This video was shot about a week ago when I was not home, as L discovered said folder:

Yep, that’s my son sitting bare-chested in my bathrobe, clicking through scandalous photos of his own mother. We’re currently saving for both college and therapy.

I’ve been planning a blog for about 367 days. At least. My spousal equivalent (AKA hetero life partner) promised to build me the biggest, baddest blog layout this side of the river, but it’s fair to say that he simply doesn’t have time to put it together for me. That being said, my pants are full of ants, so tonight dear readers, I’m putting on my big-girl panties and figuring this-here thing OUT.  Step 1: Set up wordpress account.

Now, I’ll admit that one of the main reasons I’ve been wanting this blog is to use a little technique a good friend of mine uses, where she cutely crosses out something and rewrites what she “meant” to say. Ohhhh A, that is just so clever, and I love it!  Another confession: a second blogger friend of mine refers to her friends by his or her first initial in all blogs, a la Gossip Girl-style. Another technique I plan to adopt. Thanks, E!

Step 2: Determine Blog Content

This will likely end up being filled with stories about Liam my son, L. He’s a true riot, and his antics need to be documented. Tonight, I simply need to roll the ball. You see that? Yep, we’re moving!