Liam Captain Watson, born 05.16.2005 at 4:39pm, weighing in at 6 lbs 12oz, 19.5 inches long. My only regret of the day is not getting myself together a little more before going to the hospital. If there is a next time, I’ll fix my hair and apply fresh make-up. You have to remember this is a major photo op, and these pictures are going to be around forevs. Who am I kidding – I’ll likely apply some eyelashes before going to the hospital (if there is a) next time.

When I look at the newborn pictures of Liam, it seems funny that it’s even him. He wasn’t Liam at that time; we didn’t know him at all. Now we do. I  know him well enough that he can bend over and show me his tiny little sphincter for no apparent reason, and no one feels awkward about it. That sentence you just read is a bit of a litmus test: if you find it gross, bizarre, and/or creepy, then I can bet with all certainty that you don’t have kids yet. This post comes with the disclaimer that if six year old nudity bothers you, then this post and its included pictures and videos aren’t for you, ya’ prude. Now, I won’t make a habit of posting naked Liam, but a few of these pics and videos just sum up his personality so well, and he happens to be naked in them. Because children do not like clothes. They are most comfortable in the buff, spread eagle, and “free ballin’”, as Liam so eloquently puts it.

So this is to you, my sweet Liam. You’re my baby genius. My baby comedian. Sometimes you’re a baby jerk, but mostly you’re the most incredible, entertaining, creative, bombastic little bobble head of a boy I’ve ever encountered. I’ve spent way too much time going through the process of choosing photos here. Let me just tell you it was long and hard (that’s what she said).

First, you were a teeny tiny baby.

You got a little bigger.

You spent some time as a Chippendale’s Dancer, but it was short-lived.

You stayed adorable.

And still got bigger.

Sometimes you have tons of fun.

And sometimes you’re bipolar.

But still, you’re adorable.

You’re the kind of kid who puts costumes on the cat,

recoils at a girl’s kiss,

and yells “Boring!” during the President’s speech.

Sure, you can be overly dramatic.

But you’re also the kind of kid who makes Christmas cards for all of your family members,

has birthday parties for your stuffed animals,

and builds pirate ships out of chairs.

I love that you wonder what your family would look like as hot dogs,

that you went through a phase where you wore a turquoise cross around your neck at all times,

and that you drink milk out of a coffee mug with pot leaves.

You’re getting so big now!

You’ve acted in plays.

You had your first set of staples.

Your first day of school.

You graduated Kindergarten.

And now you’re turning seven (EDIT: CURRENTLY TURNING EIGHT.)! Liam, I  know you so well now. I  know the Liam they never see at school:

I get to see those tiny little buns underneath the blankets.

You’re the best little boy I  could ask for. And you’re more than enough, so don’t expect any brothers or sisters .

I can’t begin to imagine who you’ll be in seven (EDIT: EIGHT)more years.

These next two videos sum you up pretty nicely.

First, this is you putting on quite the show during G.Dad’s wedding a couple of weeks ago. You were simply moved to tears.

Secondly, this split second video sums up your humor perfectly.

Yep. Underwear on your head. Anything that involves your penis, must be hilarious, right?

I know this was long, and if anyone stuck with me, WOW – kudos to you and your patience. But I’m quite pleased that I finally devoted a post to Liam, as I’d intended from the start of my blog. Whew! That was exhausting; I’m done (that’s what she said).

Liam, Part 2